


the space between

by mairesmagicshop



Series: The Raven and the Dove [2]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gloves, NSFW, Not Canon Compliant, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 06:07:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15113399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mairesmagicshop/pseuds/mairesmagicshop
Summary: Julian wants to end it. Maire wants one night. They both get something to remember.(NSFW AU/Canon Divergent rewrite of Julian's chapter, Dock Talk. Follows right after "Last Dance.")





	the space between

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing - hope you enjoy, regardless!
> 
> The Arcana and Julian Devorak belong to Nix Hydra. Maire is my F!Apprentice and belongs to me.

After our raucous evening in the Rowdy Raven, the night unfolding around us is starkly quiet in comparison; the lulling sound of the oncoming tide our only company. Wisps of cloud hug the dark line of the horizon, stars overlaying sky like fine lace. It's slightly cool, a salty breeze teasing itself through Julian's mop of unruly hair. My fingers itch to twirl the long strands around my fingers. I catch myself, wordlessly. I can't remember the last time I felt this way. Have I ever actually felt this way? I pondered this as I walked, my steps slowing behind Julian.

Of course I loved Asra; at least, I felt a warm, affectionate, undefinable sort of emotion that approximated love, I thought. But the brushes of lips between giggles seemed to be in an entirely different category than the fevered yearning I feel when Julian is kissing me, his tongue in my mouth, one hand creeping up my shirt, the other cupped down, curious fingers exploring...

The high-pitched cry of a seagull snaps me firmly back to the present, the heavy desirous feeling between my legs dissipating. You're obsessing, Maire, I scold myself. These fantasies! And after what, two days? Why does it feel so much longer? I am not one to lose my head over a pretty face. But I cannot help myself, not when it comes to Julian, it seems. Everything about us feels so right and good. How can this man have done what they claim? It doesn't make sense. Then again, so little does, these last few days.

Julian walks ahead of me in the sand, his gait stiff and contained, a tall black silhouette against the rocky shore. There's a tension to him that's been building all day, particularly since we left the Raven. It feels like it's about to crash over both of us. Shiny black boots stop at a rotting wooden pier. All around us is silence, broken only by the sea. We stand for a moment, side by side, but we do not touch. The swell of the ocean is hypnotic in the silvery moonlight, and I look out for a few moments before returning my gaze to Julian. He takes a deep breath, lips parting to speak as he stares out into the endless, fathomless sea.

"Feel that breeze," he says, but his expression is closed. Unreadable, for once. "A nice night for sailing."

"I suppose it is," I agree, pulling my cloak more tightly around my shoulders. "Nice and cool, too."

He closes his eye briefly and shakes his head, gaze dropping to stare down past the dock.

"Maire... listen," he begins tentatively. "We, uh. We really need to talk. We've uh. Needed to talk all day. I guess I was enjoying myself too much to take the plunge." He looks boyish and abashed as he speaks, avoiding my eyes. I don't bother asking myself what he could be getting at. I can read the signals well enough.

"What's wrong?" I ask, moderating my voice. Getting caught up in emotions will do me no good here.

He smirks in response. "Lots of things. Too many to count. Give me a number, and I'll tell you it's too low."

"Even after the day we've just had?" I answer, playfully bumping my hip into him. "Come on, Julian. It can't be that bad." 

But instead of cracking the smile I'd come to expect, he grows serious, his thick brows knit in a frown. "I've done the calculations. Thought of every possibility. Run through the scenario in my head over and over. There's only one way I can see this whole thing playing out. And it's not a happy ending, trust me."

I cast my eyes downward a moment, heart growing heavy. Glancing back up, I take his face in my hands. "Julian, what are you trying to say?"

"Isn't it best to cut things off at the pass?" he asks, his eye looking into mine, mournful. "To spare you the trouble of a tragic ending?" He places his gloved hands on top of mine and gently eases my arms down. He won't look at me. If anything, it looks like he wants to run away.

I think back for a moment to this morning, and waking up with Julian gone. The empty ache in my chest. I feel that chasm threatening to open up again. "You weren't going to get breakfast this morning, were you?"

He clears his throat, embarrassed. "Erhm. Ahem. I, ah - No, I wasn't." His admission is wounding, and he sees it reflected in his eyes. His face softens, and he grabs my hands back into his, leaning down slightly. "I may have panicked. A bit. I would never have just left you, though. Even if I wanted to."

"Why would you want to?" I mumble.

"... I don't," he says. He looks sad, defeated. "Want to leave, that is." He turns back to the vast, dark sea beyond. "But I just don't see how else this can go."

Julian drops down to sit at the edge of the pier, feet dangling over the water. The heels of his boots skim the surface. I plunk down next to him, feeling as awkward as ever, our shoulders bumping together. He leans towards my touch, like he craves it. The warmth of him radiates down my arm, and I rest my fingers lightly on top of his hand, head resting on his shoulder.

After a quiet moment, he lifts his hand and points to an island, black against the night sky on the water's horizon.

"See that island?" he asks softly. I nod in response. "It's called the Lazaret. It's where the city sent their infected during the height of the plague. A perfect monument to my failures. Always visible from the shore, always reminding the city how much it suffered. Every death, every body burnt in those pits, is another mark against me. And there are so many marks." He turns his head to face me. "So I don't want to drag this out, Maire. This..." he gesticulates vaguely between the two of us. "Whatever it was, whatever it could have been." He pauses, growing melancholy again, arms crossed in front of his chest. 

"It has to end," he whispers. "Before it's too late for you. I'm only going to end up hurting you. I know it."

“I’m not afraid of pain,” I murmur, turning my head. I lift an errant lock of hair out of his eye and rest my hand on the back of his shoulder. He pulls back slightly, his expression serious but caring.

“You shouldn’t be so… cavalier with your own safety, Maire,” he begins, voice heavy with genuine but exasperated concern. 

“I could say the same to you!” I interrupt, huffy, gesturing in front of me with my hands. “What you’re doing isn’t healthy.” I search his face for something, anything. Some clue or tell to explain what he means, why he’s doing this.

He starts again, quietly, “I’m only trying to protect you…”

I breathe deeply, but my jaw is clenched in annoyance. “I don’t need protection,” as calmly as I can manage. 

He meets my eyes for a moment, bottomless longing in just a glance, before looking away. The long muscles in his neck are held taut, his brow furrowed. His anxiety wears on him like the dark cape around his shoulders as he leans forward to place his elbows on his knees, hand running through his unruly hair to rest steepled over his face.

“It’s all I can offer you,” he murmurs. “I’m not a good man, Maire. The things I’ve done…”

“What could you have…?”

He turns sharply, tilting his face up to the moonlight, and holds me captive in his steely gaze. “I did something unforgivable – I must have. Where else does this pit in my stomach come from?” He shakes his head slightly, looking out onto the water, chin resting on his fist. “I won’t have you come down this path with me. You deserve better than that.”

I open my mouth to speak, the rejoinder on the tip of my tongue, but I stop. None of the reasons he’s given me so far have anything to do with our relationship. ‘I’m dangerous.’ ‘I’ll hurt you.’ ‘I don’t know what I’ve done.’ ‘You deserve better.’ None of them tell me how he feels about me. I feel reckless and ridiculous, embarrassed at the heat creeping into my cheeks. I know it hasn’t been that long, but I ask nevertheless. I must know.

“Do you want me?”

Julian starts, nearly falling forward into the sea, and catches himself at the last second. I reach out to help him, but he waves me off. He turns his face to me as he hoists his long body back onto the pier, his expression a patchwork of emotions: confusion, amusement, chagrin.

“I – what?” Incredulity, too. “I must have misheard, you.”

I purse my lips and speak slowly, deliberately. “I asked if you wanted me.”

His eyebrows rise a bit. “Ohhhh. So, erm, I didn’t mishear you then… but,” he chuckles nervously, “that’s a strange question to ask when I’m breaking up with you, isn’t it.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Is it, now?”

“Not that it’s really a breakup,” he prattles on, not answering me. “We never – we never really had anything to start with. Just… a night or two, stolen from time…” His voice dwindles down to nothing and he swallows hard, body full of tension. It looks like he’ll spring from me at any second. He steals a surreptitious glance at me.

“Do I want you… do I want you? That’s a… tough question to answer.”

I snort artlessly, despite myself. “Apparently so.”

He answers with a crooked smile, curling at one edge of his lips. “I want you to be safe. I want to stay out of this whole mess. I want…” His face crumples, and he looks away. “It doesn’t matter what I want,” he says, his voice barely a whisper.

I turn then, reaching for him. His cheeks are cool, cupped in my hands. I guide him back in my direction.

“You didn’t answer my question.” I smile faintly. Hopefully.

He takes my wrists in one gloved hand, easing them down, then takes my hands into his own. His familiar smirk returns, his teeth glinting in the dim. “Tenacious, aren’t you? It’s one of the things I like about you. No matter what happens, you keep moving forward.” He smiles and looks skyward. “You’re like this great bright light, drawing me towards you.” He laughs gently. “I just can’t help myself.”

He sighs deeply, eye downturned, lid heavy. “If I was a stronger man… If I wasn’t so weak.” He spits out the last word contemptuously, releases my hands, turns away again; hunched over, his forearms resting on his thighs. Takes another deep breath. “But I just can’t stay away from you.”

He straightens up slowly, pulling one leg underneath him, and turns his body completely to face me. He bites his bottom lip, looking defeated. He barely looks at me when he admits, softly… “I want you. I know it’s only been a short time… but I feel like I’ve known you for years.”

I nod instinctively, unspoken understanding welling up inside me. I know exactly how he feels. For the last few days I’ve felt giddy and heedless, like I’ve gone and lost my head; in all aspects, the opposite of my usually careful and conscientious self. The feeling he describes to me now is why. Julian’s voice pulls me from my contemplation.

“… Is it because you put me at ease?” He smiles grimly. “That’s hard to do, you know.” His eyes flit from my eyes, down to his lap, and back up as he continues haltingly. “I want to be around you. I, erm. Can’t stop thinking about you. Even when you’re not there.”

He throws his hands up suddenly, frustrated. “And that’s just the problem. I’m torn in two, Maire.” He looks at me imploringly. “My brain tells me to leave, but my heart keeps pulling me back.” He gives me a wry smile, craning his head up to the luminous moon, and sighs. “If I think about it… I can see the path our story would take. So why?”

He turns away again and slumps down a little more, arms crossed, trying to hide himself in the hunch of his shoulders, the space between us. “And if I walk away from you now, will I stay away? If I drop my guard, will I find myself walking right back to you?” He laughs, but his tone is sour, mocking. “That’s what makes me selfish. Because whatever we could have, whatever possibilities…” he trails off, shaking his head. “They’ll only lead to ruin. That’s the kind of man I am.” He levels his plaintive gaze toward me. “There’s no future for us that doesn’t end in pain for you.”

For a moment I just study him in silence. His face is luminous in the moonlight, all fine angles, refracting light; his mouth is downturned in a melancholy, tantalizing pout. The shadows falling across his forehead cannot obscure his visible eye, glazed with emotion but still aflame, burning into me. Baiting me, feels like. Waiting for my next move.

I part my lips to speak, drawing in a quick breath. I… can’t let it go. Not like this. I think back to the community theater, his salacious request for me to give him something to remember. I realize I want my due, too. I close my eyes, steeling my nerves against the irritating fluttering feeling in my stomach. 

Opening them, I release my breath slowly. “Then… just for tonight… can’t we forget about the future?” His eyebrow quirks up, mouth falling open a little before he reins in his surprise. I smile in response, tilting my head toward him, looking down my lashes. “You’re here. I’m here. We’re together, at this moment.” I gesture to the sky. “Under the same moon.”

“I don’t know what the morning will bring,” I shrug, watching his expression change, each tiny fracture in his composure. “Or the day after that. Whether you and I have any kind of future, good or ill. So… let’s not think about it.” My voice sounds unnaturally low, husky in my ears. “I just want tonight. With you.” For now, I think, that has to be enough.

Julian’s voice is shaky when he answers; unsure. “Can I be that selfish?”

I run a single finger down the line of his jaw, relishing the budding roughness of a day’s stubble there. He leans into the touch, a soft hum rumbling in his throat. “Do you want to be?” I ask.

He catches his bottom lip in his teeth as his eye, hooded, flutters up to meet mine. “Yes.”

He reaches up, gently pulling me down to meet him. Our lips brush together once, light and fleeting. Then again. We turn toward each other, flowing like water to fill the empty places separating us. His hands tremble as they grip my shirt beneath my open cloak. One slides up to press against the back of my neck; the other dips low to rest on the small of my back. I trap his top lip between mine, smiling slightly, and I slide his cloak off his shoulder to the wood below.

He laughs, rich and rumbly, moaning softly as he breaks free, his tongue begging for entrance. I clutch his broad shoulders and push back from him slightly, a playful look in my eyes. He does so love to be teased, to be made to wait, and his need fuels the growing fire inside me. He inches closer, his breath a tender whisper against my mouth. I pull away again, just out of reach, and he follows. The very air around us seems heavy and alive with anticipation as we continue our little dance. 

“Mmmmm, yes,” he rasps, pulling me tighter to him as I bite firmly on the tendon behind his ear, the spot he likes so well. “Just like that.” Facing me once more, his tongue meets mine, warm and slippery and electric, and our lips yield to each other again. “One more,” he says as he presses his forehead to mine. He draws his fingers from behind my neck to trace a line, slowly, down my throat, to my chest, coming to rest at the strings of my shirt, right over my pounding heart. And our lips do meet once more, Julian making a muffled noise against me, mouth parting as a shiver runs through him. “That’s the last one - ”

“One more,” I say, grabbing the collar of his jacket and pressing myself against him with passionate abandon. He leans into the kiss, pressing up again, and again. Each time, a whispered ‘one more,’ a promise that it’s the last. I can no longer tell who is saying the words. They wilt and die like unwatered roses in our ravenous, needful mouths.

Each time one of us comes back, a little more desperate than before. Touches a little needier. “One more,” he says. This time, he breaks the kiss off abruptly, hand going to my nape, and he trails his mouth along the underside of my chin, his tongue pressing along my jaw and down my neck. I close my eyes and let my head drop back, one hand tangling in his hair, the other behind me. I ease myself down to the dock, holding Julian close.

My skin is searing where his mouth has been, a jolt of aching desire spreading outward from the constellation of his touch, and I’m suddenly painfully aware of my own nipples, straining against my shirt; a dull, heavy feeling between my legs; and an absurdly high-pitched whine escapes me. I feel his lips pull back into a smile, just below my collarbone, before he kisses me there again in earnest; his hand coming from behind my back, and up, brushing the side of my breast to rest on the laces to my shirt.

He hesitates, still threading the sueded tie between his fingers. I untangle my hand from his hair and urge him up gently as we catch our breath. He doesn’t look unsure; if anything, he looks hungrier for me than I’ve ever seen him.

“May I?” he asks, his eye darting downward, fingers playfully tugging the end of the bow.

“Yes,” I breathe. “Do it.”

He gives me a rakish smile, and leans over me, shirt hanging open, the moonlight flowering brightly out behind him. Lowering his face to mine, his mouth shushes the small noises I make. I feel the tentative tug of the laces at my chest so slowly it’s nearly painful. I run my hands back down to his chest, fumbling with the buttons, when he stops, spine stiffening.

“What is it?” I ask. “Is something wrong?” I move to sit up.

“No, my dear, it’s just…” He pauses, his hand coming up to guide my chin into another kiss. “It’s just that I - I’m afraid – if we continue, I will not want to stop myself.”

I take his hands in mine, and place them back over my heart. “I don’t want you to,” I say, too breathless, too needy myself. “Stop yourself, I mean. I want you so much, Julian. I want something to remember, too.”

His eye widens, a flash of recognition, before his eyelid goes heavy once more, a sultry smile playing on his lips. He moves a hand behind my neck again, eyes locked with mine. “I’ve wanted you since the very first moment I saw you. I never imagined you would ever feel the same way.”

He glances around us and grins incorrigibly. “But this hardly seems to be the best place, hmm?”

I cock my head sideways. “I suppose you’re right, although they say beggars can’t be choosers. Let me think for a moment.” I inhale deeply, and reach out with my magic, the corners of my vision going blurry and dark, testing the natural rock seawall below us for any little hiding spots… I could swear I had the hint of some nearly-lost memory, a place where two could stay but nothing would trouble them…

I hear Julian speaking. “Maire, are you all right? Are you doing something with… with your magic? Magicky things?” My vision clears, and I smile.

“Yes – I chased a memory I had. A place where we can go, close to here. Come on; let’s get off and go back down to the sand.” He jumps to his feet, puts his cloak back on with a flamboyant flourish and pulls me up after him, grinning wickedly.

“I’d love to help you get off.” I can’t help but roll my eyes and give him a little shove.

“Really, Julian?”

He bursts out laughing. “I’m sorry… well, no, I’m really not. Admit it - that was low-hanging fruit.”

“Has your reckless mouth ever gotten you into real trouble?”

“Of course - I have a hilarious story about that, actually…”

I kick my shoes from my feet and we clamber down the sand dunes together, laughing and talking, Julian regaling me with stories from his childhood and the manner in which he learned his first curse words. As we walk along the water’s edge, the breeze picks up, whipping Julian’s hair, and he looks so effortlessly handsome I can hardly stand it. I plant myself in front of him, demanding a kiss, and he takes off running. We squeal and shout like children as I give chase, knowing I have no hope of catching him, and I start to lose track of time, of myself, again. I see us in frozen scenes even though I am living them, memorizing every detail. I catch the edge of his shirt with my hands; he wriggles away, just out of reach; he turns on me, takes me in his arms; his hands roving over me, kissing me deeply, my legs weak beneath me, the cold water rushing against my ankles; he picks me up over his shoulder, spanking my bottom as he walks along the water’s edge (for which I vow my revenge).

“It’s there! Julian, right there!” I point to a shadowed spot along the sea wall, slightly behind us.

“Where now?” and he feigns being unable to see it, spinning in a circle, his hand still firmly attached to my backside, laughing all the while.

“Oh, you will pay for this. Now put me down, will you? What, have you changed your mind?” I badger.

Giving me one last firm squeeze, he lets me slip, ever so slowly, between his hands and down his chest. He palms the lowest point of my back against him, fingers splayed, as I slither down against his hips. The proximity is almost too much, and I arch into him unthinkingly, feeling the front of his already snug pants grow tighter. A vision of our bodies against one another flashes in my mind – just like this, without the constricting boundaries of clothing, just the white hot friction of skin on skin. With his other hand, he tips my chin up to face him. “Not a chance. Have you?”

My mouth feels dry, full of sand. I shake my head. “No,” I manage.

“Wonderful! Then lead on… I’m quite at your disposal tonight. You did ask, after all. Just us. Under the moon, tonight.” He waggles his eyebrows for good measure.

“It’s this way. Do you see the cleft in the rock there? It looks like a deep shadow. But there's an open space in there. Sort of like a cave. It’s high enough on the beach that the tide won't reach us.” I feel as though I’m babbling, but Julian takes my hand and just listens, for once. It's only a short distance to the inlet, and we reach it in a matter of minutes.

The entrance is fairly narrow. Julian steps in first, one arm propped against the rock. He leans forward and peers in, eye squinting, but he clearly can’t make anything out; it's pitch black inside, no opening elsewhere to filter down moonlight. “Hellooooo!” he warbles dramatically. He turns back to me and shrugs. “Looks like nobody’s home! Shall we?”

I nod and duck under his arm. Our bodies brush against each other as I pass, my hand lingering against his hip, fingers curling slightly under his waistband. “Allow me.”

He looks down at my hand, a blush flowering in his cheeks, and flicks his eyes back to mine. With my other hand, I summon a small mote of light into my open palm. “Come on in,” I say, in voice that sounds too sultry to be mine, tugging him along with me.

His answering look is a promise; he smiles, his tongue pressed against the back of his top teeth. “Lead on, Maire. I’d follow you anywhere.” I take his hand and turn to begin walking through the narrow passage. “… and the view from back here is fantastic!”

I can’t help but laugh. “You know, I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone as flirtatious as you, Julian,” I say over my shoulder. “Is that an acquired skill or are you really just that shameless?”

We’ve come out of the short, narrow passage and into the cove itself, wide enough to accommodate the two of us, though lanky Julian has to stoop a bit. Some part of my memory recalls a tiny ledge inside the cove, perhaps a place for the light? I twirl around, finally spotting a small, rickety lantern. I snap my fingers victoriously to transfer the light there.

As I start to turn back around, one of Julian’s arms takes me around the waist from behind, pulling me into a tight embrace. His other arm snakes over my side, trapping me; his fingers caress my neck and gently tilt it back. Unbridled excitement pulses through my body, the closeness of him intoxicating. I feel his breath against me, even and calm, his mouth pulled close to my ear. “Shameless?” He laughs, a muffled whisper into my hair. He takes my earlobe between his teeth and closes his lips around it, sucking it into his mouth. I gasp and reach back with my free arm, my hand grasping his hair. His hand trails lower, nimble fingers twirling the tie of my shirt. “Oh Maire, you have no idea.” I shiver when he says my name.

He kisses me behind my ear, underneath my jaw. His tongue presses a wet line down the side of my neck as I arch backwards, pressing into his hips, trying to close even the smallest gap between us. “I’d like to,” I say, breathless with the wanting. Though one arm is still pinned by his, I can reach the one he has wrapped around me, and I guide it lower, pressing it to the core of every thirst I have for him. “Will you show me?”

He growls into the base of my neck, and in his haste pulls the tie of my shirt completely free of the stays; cups my breast over the fabric, his fingers finding my nipple standing at attention; his other hand still working lower, under mine, and I’m dizzy with the sensation of his touch, the hard heat of him pressing into my backside. His hands relax for a moment, and slide down the sides of my body to rest on my thighs. His forehead slips between my shoulder blades and down my back.

“Julian…?” I call out softly, confused. The sounds of our breath, ragged and uneven, fill the small space.

“Maire… I…”

I turn around to find him kneeling, head down. He's taken off his cape and laid it out on the sand. I drop to my knees to face him. “What is it?” I curl one hand around the nape of his neck; the other I use to lift his chin. “Do you… should we stop?”

He shakes his head slowly and reaches for me. “No, darling. You’re so sweet – too sweet. I just… I’m so selfish, you see. Even now, when you’ve asked for just tonight…” He smiles weakly. “It’s just difficult to feel this with you and not think about…”

I raise a finger to his lips. I think I know what he needs from me; I just need to make sure I’m right. So I stand upright, and in the most commanding tone I can muster, I speak his name once more. His eye widens as he peers up at me, the golden light shining red in his hair.

“Do you want to stop?” The words feel hard and foreign on my tongue.

“N-no.”

I take his chin in my fingers, tilting his head up. “Do you want to keep touching me?”

He bites his lip. “Yes.”

“And do you want me to touch you?”

He nods eagerly –

“Out loud!” I command.

“Y-yes! Yes, Maire.”

“That’s it. You’re so good when you obey. Do you like to obey me?”

His chest swells, his gaze growing darker. “Yes.”

“Good. Then stand up. Now.”

He leaps to his feet, spine straight, the telltale bulge between his legs confirming what I’d already known. He wants me to dominate him. And somehow, his unconditional surrender and arousal fills me with desire. I take a step toward him, shrugging my cloak to the ground. He follows my every move, anticipation and lust burning in his eye.

“Give me your hand.” He complies without hesitation. I grab his wrist firmly, recalling his teasing words that night at the shop when I patted him down, and he shudders, ever so slightly.

“You will watch me remove your glove. Then you will remove the other one in the same way. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

I lift his gloved hand to my mouth, and take the tip of his first finger between my teeth, feeling for the small, empty space at the fingertip. I loosen each finger in this way, holding his gaze. His breathing has quickened, and I smile, pleased that such a small gesture can affect him like this. Coming back to his middle finger, I bite down on the glove once more, and pull it free, running my hand down his arm. With the other, I take the glove from my mouth and hold it limply in my hand before I let it fall to the ground.

“Now take the other one off. Slowly.” I take a step back, wanting to enjoy the show. While he likes to be ordered about, he also enjoys performing, and I’m only too happy to oblige him.

He does not disappoint. Slowly, deliberately, he bares his teeth, and tugs a little on each finger, one by one. His eye roves up and down my body a few times before staring hungrily back into mine. At last, the glove skips up his arm to reveal his wrists, long fingers, the murderer’s brand on his hand. I step forward and seize the glove, giving it a gentle tug. He grins devilishly, holding fast to the leather between his teeth.

“Drop it.” I’ve hardly finished speaking before he obeys. I stretch the long glove out in my hands and loop it over his head, pulling his face to mine.

“Clasp your hands behind your back,” I hiss, and his hands disappear behind him.

“Now kiss me like your life depends on it, but do not touch me.”

He surges forward, capturing my mouth in a bruising kiss, his tongue eager and hungry. My head spins as I struggle to stay upright. I want him so much, and I don’t know how long I can keep this up. My undergarments already feel soaked through, the thin fabric clinging to me. But if I am to delay Julian’s pleasure, than I can delay mine as well.

“You are so good, Julian." I gasp, between the onslaught of his kiss. I feel his smile against my lips. “But that’s enough.” I step back and he stretches out, trying to prolong the kiss.

“I said enough.” I walk behind him and swat his firm behind with his leather glove. He bites back a moan. “Oh? Did you like that?”

“Yes, Maire.”

“Would you like another?”

I can’t see his face, but his voice is thick with shame and need. “Yes.”

“Very well." I flick the glove against him again, harder, and he shakes, a soft whine escaping his lips. "One more?" I ask. "How many do you deserve?" I pause to caress him. "Count for me."

He swallows audibly, shifting his weight. "I'm ready."

I give him five more, and he dutifully counts each meaty, satisfying slap aloud, his back arching exquisitely after each one. I'm consumed with the desire to strip him naked, to take his hot skin into my hands and soothe it with my mouth.

"I would like to undress you now.” I continue walking, coming to face him, and drop his glove. “Would you like that?”

I can see his cock twitch through his pants in response. Good. “Yes, Maire.” He grins broadly. "Feels like I've wanted this forever."

I smile shyly up at him. “I know you have. Now don't touch me until I permit you.”

This sense of power over him is strange but heady, and perhaps power is not the right word. If anything, I feel exposed and vulnerable myself – he has given himself over to me, and although I know very generally that he is excited by rough play, even pain, he has trusted me to attend to him, to serve him by allowing him to serve me. I want to do it right, whatever it is I'm doing. I want so much to satisfy him.

"Arms by your side," I instruct. I close the gap between us and brush my lips over his, biting his lip gently as I unbutton his jacket and slide it off, one arm at a time.

Finally, I untuck his shirt in the front. Dragging it with one hand, I make my way around to his back. I shrug it off his broad shoulders, raking my nails down his arms, and it floats to the ground. His back is leanly muscled and smooth, polished ivory in the dim light. I lean up on tiptoes, my palms crossing the expanse of him from back to front, and I kiss the highest point I can reach, down in neat line along his spine. I drag my teeth and bite, pressing my tongue to the quickly healing skin as my fingers stroke his nipples. Tremors pass through him as I make my way down, the guttural sounds trapped in his throat urging me on.

Still lower I travel, until I'm at his waistband. I tug it with my teeth, which prompts a delicious shiver from Julian. I straighten up, and reach around to the front. His pants have both an inside button and a hidden zipper, so I reach one hand down to fondle his erection, the other working to release it. 

He moans aloud this time, the end catching in a laugh and he throws his head back, hissing at the contact. My other hand manages to unfasten the top of the pants, but I realize his damn boots are still on.

"Help me with your boots?" I whisper.

Julian snickers, bending over to unbuckle them, and shakes them off one by one. He finishes with a little bow. "Like so?" 

I reward him with a deep kiss, his lips pliant beneath mine. "Perfect. Thank you for being so cooperative." He growls against my mouth, a frustrated sound. "What is it, Julian? Do you need something?"

"I want to touch you, Maire. I want to... I want to see all of you. I want too much and it's driving me crazy."

"I will give you what you want," I reply, gazing up through my eyelashes. "But you must be patient. Can you be good for me?" I graze his lips again, my hand ghosting over the front of his pants. My hand is trembling and I realize just how excited I've become. 

"Yes," he murmurs.

"Good." He's coiled tight, a dam ready to burst. I rub him more firmly now, and his head falls back, eye closed. "You like me touching you like this, don't you?"

"Yes," he pants. "I wish you would... really touch me again."

My hands spread wide to each of his hips. Folding my fingers just inside the waist, I tug them down just a little, my nails scraping over his hips. He inhales sharply. "Just like that... yes."

"I suppose you have been very good so far." I pull harder, over his poor swollen cock, which jumps at the new sensation of his trousers coming down. He makes a pitiful noise, a low hum in his throat. I lower myself as I go, nails raking down his legs and bottom, leaving a trail of red raised stripes against his ivory skin. "Hush now. No noises. Can you show me how quiet you can be?”

"Yes," he manages to choke out.

He is all long lines, carved, svelte but strong. As I bring his pants all the way down, I grasp each ankle and lift, pulling them off completely. I kneel in front of him, and look up, meeting his gaze.

"You are so lovely, Julian. Now tell me, how would you like me to touch you?"

His cheeks are burning; his need clear. "However you want," he huffs breathlessly. "Please... could you... with your mouth?" His face flushes even brighter.

"Of course I can, darling. Thank you for asking so nicely," I say, beaming up at him. And with that, I kneel a little higher, wrap my arms around his legs, and run my tongue along the underside of his shaft, catching the glistening drops his excitement has already produced. He trembles, his whole body shaking against me as I wrap my lips around him, taking all of him into my mouth. If this is to be a first and last night together, I want to leave us both with a delicious memory.

I glance up; his eyes are closed, face flushed and focused on controlling himself. But his body can't lie, and his hips start involuntarily thrusting toward me. I steady them with my hands and pull away, getting to my feet. He's a beautiful sight, panting and utterly wanton. But I've never been more fully aware of being completely clothed and I want his hands on me more than ever. 

"Would you like to undress me now?" I ask coyly. 

"Oh God, yes please".

"Then come here. I'm waiting."

He bites his lip hungrily and reaches for me, mouth crashing into mine, hands in my shirt, pushing it down over my shoulders. He litters my neck and shoulders with kisses as he fumbles with my belt. He groans good-naturedly, his voice low, but finally solves the clasp. With his help, I shimmy my shirt and pants together down over my hips, his hands roving scandalously over them, our words punctuated with eager kisses.

"Can I... May I touch you? Really touch you? I want to make you scream, darling."

His words ignite the liquid pool of desire simmering within me, just below the surface. "I can think of a few ways..." I start. 

"Yes?" he says as he nods eagerly. "Tell me. I'll do whatever you say."

I smile. "I know you will. You're so very good to me. Lay down there, on your cloak." He quickly complies, his body lean and stark against the darkness.

"So tell me, how would you like to 'make me scream,' Julian?

His face is shadowed, so I cannot see the look in his eyes when he responds, but his voice is positively carnal, and it makes my legs tremble. "Why, with my tongue, darling - that is, if you think that would please you."

"Mmmmm, more than I can say." I stand over him, looking down, finding my courage. "There's just one catch - I'm not quite done with you yet."

From this angle I can see his face better, and a momentary look of complete surprise passes across his face, replaced by a saucy grin. "Ohhohoho, Maire... are you suggesting what I think you are? My God, I could die happy right now... well, maybe not right now..." he trails off, stroking my legs. My suggestion has made him bolder again. "What are you waiting for, you minx? Come down here. It's my turn to taste you."

In this moment, I barely recognize myself; I nearly come away as if I'm watching myself. I slide down to my knees and crawl alongside him. Parting my thighs, I let Julian position me above him; he knew exactly what I had in mind, and I'd feel depraved if I wasn't so slippery with need.

Once in the right place, on hands and knees, I lean down and take his cock in my mouth once more, but edge my body a little out of his reach. One more tease, I think. One more.

He licks along my inner thighs, nips them gently there, traces his tongue higher and higher again... and finally grasps me to pull me in, his tongue plunging into me. I gasp, the sensation blazing through my bloodstream, and I cannot stay quiet, the sounds tumbling awkwardly out of my otherwise occupied mouth.

He is wonderfully diligent; at every turn, the attentive lover I’d surmised he’d be. Tangled up as we are, I relinquish my dominion and we are equals again, giving and taking in equal measure and holding nothing back from one another, except the promise of tomorrow.

He worships fervently at my altar, his tongue caressing every tender, sensitive part of me, and I feel that familiar warm pressure building within. He hums and moans from my ministrations, and the vibrations only heighten my bliss. He brings me to the edge quickly, and I cannot fight it - I've been aroused too long. My body goes rigid and I cry out, muffled as it is, my fingernails digging into his hips.

My orgasm energizes me, and I need more; I must have him, now. I roll off to the side and switch directions, straddling his tight body, kissing and biting my way up, muttering fragments of my need. "Dear God, Julian..."

His laughter is rich honey to my ears. "What are you going to do with me now?"

I kiss him forcefully, the earthy, primal taste of me lingering on his slick lips. "I'm going to give you something to remember me by."

Hand behind my back, he curves up to meet me, his slender torso contracting, muscles raised, and kisses me again. "Oh, I'd say you've done fairly well on that front so far," he says, but there's a naughty gleam in his eye, and he sighs dreamily. "Let's make one more memory." He moves to kiss me again, then stops himself. "But will... will it be... safe?" He stutters out the words, eye wide. Of course, I think. He's a doctor. He understands the whims and mysteries of a woman's body.

"Not to worry," I whisper. "Magic, remember?" Placing my hand on his chest, I gently guide him back down. “Let me.”

He grins, his fingertips resting delicately against my face. Stroking his stomach, teasing the trail of dark hair there, I reach lower - not looking away - and find what I seek. I grasp his cock and guide it into me, shallow at first before I slide all the way down. We gasp in unison, our foreheads touching, before joining our lips together over and over again. I roll my hips against him wildly; his hands come to steady me and we find our rhythm.

He peppers me with ravenous kisses: on my neck, down my chest, sucks my nipples into his mouth, and the little cavern is filled (for what could have been mere minutes or hours, I couldn't say) with the sonorous sounds of our lovemaking: breaths held and released, whispered affirmations that my-god-yes-that-feels-good, the strangled melody that pleasure invites from the throats of lovers. The world blessedly falls away and we are consumed by our ecstasy and sadness as we cling desperately to each other. 

I try to reciprocate his touches, but I feel my orgasm rapidly beginning to crest like the waves I can still hear roaring down on the shore. I clutch his shoulders, meeting his eye, and feeling the pulses within, give myself over. He moans; a sweet, desperate little noise and bucks his hips against me, hands squeezing my hips tight. My fingernails bite into his skin, so hard they draw spots of blood. As i tighten around him, I can feel him swell within me, and he rides his own orgasm to completion, clutching me to him and calling my name.

I lay atop him, his arms wrapped around me, our bodies still joined. His heartbeat is starting to slow. I feel as though I could stay here forever, but the unfortunate reality of life quickly sets in. I can see a sliver of light creeping down the entrance of the cave. It must be nearly dawn. I turn my head to look at him, my chin resting on his chest, memories of everything we said earlier flooding back into my mind.

He smiles down at me, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Probably thinking the same thing I am. He rubs a circle on my back, raises an eyebrow and asks, "Think that will do, Maire? Something to remember, eh?" I roll my eyes and he gooses my side. I protest, laughing, and roll off.

"Hey! Up until right then it was great!" I begin to collect my clothes and start getting dressed. Julian props himself up on an elbow, looks at me in companionable silence for a moment, then does the same.

My heart is aching, but there's nothing for it. This is what I asked for, and it will be a beautiful memory, one I'll treasure forever. I’ll take the bitter with the sweet. 

Julian is fully dressed in a few moments, and, taking my hand, leads me out of the cavern. I snap my fingers on the way out, extinguishing the light.

We make our way back out onto the beach, up to the dock. As we stare out onto the vast expanse, he pulls me into his arms abruptly, and we stand, alone with the sea. He tips his head down to kiss me. "One more," he says, and I can't help but smile against his lips. As we part, he swallows hard, eyes staring past me to some distant point. He looks... sad. Desperately sad. He eventually breaks the silence. "You... being with you is the first thing I've wanted for myself in a long time."

I stroke an errant curl and tuck it behind his ear. Julian swallows hard again, shaking his head like he can cast off whatever dark thoughts plague him. "I'll walk you home,” he says.

He slides his hands in his pockets as he leads me off the beach and back into town. Every so often he opens his mouth to say something, then makes a face and closes it again. Eventually we reach the shop, and Julian turns to me with a note of finality in his voice.

"Well... here we are. At your shop. End of the line." He takes a deep breath and continues. "When I came to Vesuvia, I was seeking answers. Finding you... that was a rare treat." His smile is affectionate and filled with longing, and I feel my heart quietly going to pieces within me. 

He reaches out, hand hovering over my shoulder, unsure whether he's allowed to touch me anymore. I feel shy; a sudden apprehension between us despite having shared the most intimate knowledge two people can have about one another. It's just as well. This was the decision I made.

Then he shakes his head, and leans forward to press a kiss on each cheek, lips lingering for just a second longer. "Thank you, my dear," he says wistfully. "The time we spent together, however brief... it mattered to me. I won't forget it," he adds. With a whirl of his cape, he's gone, footsteps echoing down the sidestreet then fading away, too.

I enter the shop in a fog of sadness and fatigue. Asra is there, and I'm happy to have someone to talk to, at least. We chat briefly about what happened, but it doesn't make me feel any better. My business with Julian feels unfinished, in more ways than one. Whatever happened today, whatever will happen tomorrow, however this whole story plays out... somehow I know I'm not done with Julian yet.


End file.
